A pocket guide for chronic fatigue – why?

I created a Guide to get me through one of the most challenging transitions in my life.

First, I had to accept my circumstances. Second, I wanted to find something, a tool, to help me become more proactive and positive regardless of the situation. Fatigue had replaced my usual energy and enthusiasm. I hadn’t found anything that pulled it all together simply and in a way that made sense to me in my situation, so I designed my own.  It had to include an element of self reflection and self acknowledgment yet also needed to drive me to action and also be simple and easy.

The guide, called GLLASHIO, A Gift to Self was created to help myself. Whilst it didn’t fix the fatigue, it fixed my sense of self appreciation. It changed my world from one of frustration to one of gratification, from fear to freedom and perceived inaction to rewarding any action.

This is the background story as to why. After cancer treatment, my body responded in an way that left me with chronic fatigue and some cognitive issues. Creating my own guide to help myself was the biggest gift I could give to myself.

I’d been told it may last a few months though never thought it could last more than 8 years.  It was frustrating and my day shrunk to the available energy.

I had done everything I thought possible to overcome these issues. They said exercise so I did, brain games,  organic healthy food and no acidity to keep your body alkaline, yoga, meditation, poetry, music to light up the whole of the brain…. I did that and more.

I don’t want to sound like a know it all who did it all. However, being firmly committed to returning to my previous capacity and capability I did whatever people suggested to do and what I thought may be helpful.

In the past, being resilient, strong and able to push through was part of my identity. Having got through chemo experiencing many of the ‘rare’ side effects, surely these post treatment issues would be a cinch to overcome. Well, did I have a lesson or two to learn about accepting and adapting to changed circumstances.

Whilst I didn’t want to be a victim to the circumstance, the circumstances led me down that path.  I noticed that berating myself about what I couldn’t do caused stress and it didn’t achieve anything anyway. It was energy sapping and not constructive.

You may wonder whether any or all of those activities and actions altered my condition? Whilst they were interesting and worthy to explore and added highlights to a narrowed life, unfortunately the fatigue and cognition issues remained largely unchanged.

When it became evident that change was not going to happen in my timeframe, I realised it was time to change tack. I decided to look at things differently, by managing my expectations and situation better.

That’s how GLLASHIO came to be, as a daily practice to manage myself better. With just a few minutes in the morning going through each letter, it made such a difference to my life straight away – for each day and also cumulatively.

You may ask why it’s such a hard name to pronounce, a funny name called GLLASHIO. It is formed from each of the first letters of words that meant something to me in an order that worked best to set up my day. It tested my memory and now it’s unforgettable.

You may have worked out that G is for Gratitude being the first letter of the Pocket Guide. How could it not be, I was grateful to be one of the lucky ones, to be alive!